Midnight reflections
by Kedern
Summary: Detective Ellen Yin is pondering on the recent changes in her life. Takes place anytime between "JTV" and "Night and the City". English not my native language.


**AN: Don't own anything but the story.**

**English is not my native language, please forgive me for any mistake.**

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><p>I'm royally screwed.<p>

Maybe I should have stayed at sweet Metropolis, not worrying much about having too much to do, thanks to that pretentious obnoxious… who am I kidding, the love of all inhabitants of Metropolis. Not his fault I can't stand his _holier than thou_ attitude.

On the other hand, I left Metropolis for Gotham exactly for those reasons… finding new challenges, doing my job for once, and not being bothered by guys in tights with a personality complex.

Obviously, I was wrong. Well, at least he's got taste when it comes to colors.

It was not that bad, really. I got along fine with my partner, had a job to do, criminals to pick up, well, life. The only snag? This bat and a Chief quite adamant about arresting it. Well, him. Talk about ego.

It would not have been so bad if said Chief was not literally pressuring us on and on about his capture, like, a real bulldog. Got his teeth on something and barks loudly without letting go of the matter. I didn't care much, I mean, of course I thought that arresting all of those clowns was really important, but I never quite took all that Rojas said personally.

My partner did.

Oh God he did, he did so much. And the worst in all of that? He didn't think we had to go after the Batman. After all, he is arresting people to help us and all. And contrary to another costumed guy I know of, he isn't making a big fuss about it. Quite the contrary actually. Hey, you don't say "urban _legend_" for something everyone is sure exists. But technically, arresting bad guys is still our job, and the bat is doing it wrong, against the law. Which makes him, of course, an outlaw. Hence why we had to catch him as well.

So Ethan was like, a heretic to be thinking the way he did, particularly saying it out loud in front of Rojas. Ow. Bad move. He often tried to talk to me about it but I was really on Rojas's side for that one. Without focusing primarily on the bat of course. After all, thieves and troublemakers are a tad more important.

Then I understood why Gotham was so different than Metropolis. It's its darkness. Of course the bat won't dress with bright blue and red, it's a bat for God's sakes! All in black. Most of the crimes are committed at night. And its criminals…

I mean, of course, Metropolis had its lot, but never was there a point where the local asylum counted more inmates than the prison ward… And it may be awful to say, but I'm not that sure that the doctors there are saner than their patients.

So of course, you have the Riddler, the Penguin (very original, the name), Catwoman and company…

And you have the Joker.

Ironically enough, he was the first assignment we had with Ethan, and I should've known at that precise moment that he would impact a lot on our lives.

And that he did.

That guy is… God, I don't even know where to begin. I mean, he locked _himself_ in the asylum! His way of talking is creepy, not to mention what he did to his appearance. A permanent smile. Then his obsession with making people smile, it was a relief to see that, like all good ol' criminals, he was still thriving for money. But it has never been his main objective. No. Driving people crazy, as crazy as he is, to bring them in his world…with this sick way of his…

My partner – I mean, my _former_ partner – fell down to his tricks. To tell the truth, he wasn't entirely alright, with Rojas breathing down his neck and putting more and more pressure on him to catch the bat, and his convictions about said bat not being the one we should be after… I'm not saying that he didn't give a fight, but he wasn't at 100%. And the Joker took advantage of it.

With hindsight, now, I should've noticed something different about him, about the way he shut down, about the way he behaved… Maybe I could've done something, I could've talked to him, kept him on the right path, not letting him fall into madness…

Who am I kidding? I would've still let Rojas talk him down and fire him, still not got loud enough to emphasize on the fact _I_ was the one who let the bat go…

When I understood, Clayface, Ethan, I really thought I could bring him back. I really believed it. And the bat by my side, working with me to dissociate Ethan from his new abilities, trying to get him away from the edge. I was…_weird_ to watch him being on the same side, facing _my partner_ of all people, like I switched sides. And that's obviously what Ethan thought too.

I don't know what possessed me not to cuff the bat right here and then, taking advantage of its state of consciousness, or lack thereof. I don't know what happened. Maybe I wanted to keep a part of Ethan with me, this part of believing the vigilante, not giving him up, backing him up even. I'd already lost a partner, I had nothing else to lose. Well, apart from my job of course. I did not do a thing. And got a new partner in the process.

I have to admit, never in a million years, a million, million years, would I have ever possibly considered that I would secretly work hand-in-hand with the bat, against my hierarchy, against my very principles. I mean, I know I said that, unlike Rojas, I didn't deem arresting the bat as top priority but between that and working _with_ him… there's a big difference.

It's times when they force a new partner on me, like this Tankenson person *shudder*, that I learn to appreciate this unusual partnership. He's strong, silent, a bit too much on the solitary side, but I'm still a cop and he'd better remember it. The whole "stay here, stay safe" routine is not gonna work on me.

Now, it's a game of hide-and-seek between Rojas and me. I love my job, I don't know what I'd do if it was taken from me. And at the slightest suspicion, Rojas is sure to fire me. That's why I can't let anyone know about my new partnership. Not that there is someone I can talk to anyway. Well, there's always Wayne. Ethan wanted us to "bond", considering we were his best friends. He was sad I was a bit, let's say, not really fond of that billionaire playboy hosting parties as often as he could. That story with Ethan, well, it got us closer. I don't know why, but conceit-wise, I was putting him on the same level as that blue and red weirdo. I was wrong. Being billionaire, hosting parties, he uses his name to help others. Of course, he doesn't want this side of him to be known but, hey, I'm a cop. The way he reacts, the way he talks, it's obvious the whole mundane thing is a façade. I can understand why Ethan was so close to him now.

Losing him, Ethan I mean, has been a hard blow for both of us. For Bruce, he lost a childhood friend he used to spend time with to get away from his life, whom he probably shared secrets with, whom he had fun with. For me, I lost probably the only friend I had in Gotham, a great partner who didn't think that women should be behind a desk, who always had good topics of conversation. Maybe a bit naïve, in his "I want to do what's right, and not what I'm told to" way. His position concerning the bat was quite telling.

I lost a man, and now, I have two new ones in my life. Said that way, it's pretty weird. Not that I'm dependent or anything, but it's not so bad to have real back up sometimes.

Although… Call me crazy, or maybe it's about the fact I became closer to the both of them at the same time but… Wayne and the bat… I mean, oddly enough, I find some similarities between them. The goal they have, even though the means they use are totally different, is the same. The way they talk, no, the words they use. You know, it's very difficult to change one's speech. Words, intonation, phrases. It's part of one's identity. And between them, it's really, really, really similar. Not to mention that physically, they are the same height, the same built. I'm a cop, I'm supposed to notice these things. But being a cop and knowing that…could very well end my career.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss. That's why I will particularly ignore these little things I'm seeing everyday when I talk to one or the other. Because hey, what good would that be to shout "Bruce Wayne is Batman" anyway. People'd think I'm wonko and, if it's not true, I'd lose two other people. If it's true, I'd arrest the best chance Gotham has to be more or less safe.

So no, not telling. Nothing positive coming out of it. If things stay the way they are, maybe one day I'll know for sure.

Until then, no pondering anymore. I lost a friend and a partner that nothing will ever replace. I got a new friend and a new partner whom I'm beginning a new life with. I'd say it's enough for now.


End file.
